Mystery Incarnate

Catholic News Agency

2011-06-20T11:44:00.000-07:00

Hello to anyone who stumbles across this blog!

Clearly, I haven't written here since 2009, but I haven't stopped writing. A few months ago, I became a regular columnist for the Catholic Womanhood column of Catholic News Agency. I've been writing about my experiences working with young people at the Catholic high school I work at and in youth ministry.

All of my columns can be read here:

http://www.catholicnewsagency.com/cw/author.php?id=61

I hope you enjoy them!

Reflections on the Crucifixion

2009-11-16T10:45:00.000-08:00

Dying on a cross isn't exactly a "joyful" situation. Christ, in his suffering and death, must not have experienced the kind of happiness that we all seek in our lives: comforts, contentment, fulfillment, a euphoric feeling (however fleeting)- the list of adjectives could go on. Jesus' human nature was screaming out against the crucifixion- against the pain, suffering, humiliation, and ultimately, death. But- we ask ourselves- what was it all for?

For us.

For every sinner who has ever lived and will ever live. For the redemption of the human race, of us, the adopted sons and daughters of God the Father, Jesus' own brothers and sisters- so that what was broken could be made whole again and so that we could have life and have it abundantly.

So he resigned himself, willingly, to death, so that we might have eternal life. For God so loved the world, John tells us, that He gave His only beloved son. Love. Doesn't it always come back to love? We are created to love, called to love, to be perfect in love, and to die in love. Jesus wasn't happy or joyful in the eyes of the world. But how must he have felt to know that it was for us, who he loved so very much? He loved us to the end.

Similarly, our lives aren't always pleasant, fun, comfortable, and we may not always feel happy. But, we ask ourselves, if our God was able to suffer and die for us, how should we approach the trials of our own lives? Not necessarily jumping for joy, but with a deep contentment that comes from a total acceptance of God's will. Would that we, like Mary, could say, "Thy will be done," and accept, like the Blessed Mother, all the things that God asks from us, as she accepted the death of her only son. Because, really, this life, this confusing and often painful life, doesn't last forever. Christ lay in the tomb for three days before his resurrection and Mary never lost hope. We must never despair and always hope in Christ, and keep our eyes on our resurrection and our heavenly home where we, God willing, will be truly, deeply, and completely happy.

Support a Catholic Speaker Month: Father Dave Pivonka, TOR

2009-10-26T15:41:00.000-07:00

The first time I ever saw Father Dave Pivonka, TOR, I was a junior in high school and surrounded by two thousand screaming, sweaty teenagers in a gigantic white tent in a small town outside of Boston. It was 2003 and Father Dave was speaking and celebrating Mass at the first Steubenville East Youth Conference I ever attended. The conference was a high-energy experience centered on the Eucharist and featuring a variety of speakers who witnessed to their love for and commitment to God and the ways in which He worked in their lives. The highlight of the weekend was an intense hour of Eucharistic Adoration on Saturday night where many teens truly encountered Christ for the first time. I was profoundly affected by the conference, and I attended many more, as a particpant, chaperone, and presently as a youth minister and group leader. Over the years, I've heard many different speakers and talks, which eventually all start to run together in my memory, but seven years later, I can still remember Father Dave's homily on Sunday morning of my first conference. I was literally buzzing with a first-timer's retreat-high, ready to conquer the world, convert my family, and live for Jesus! Father Dave's words cut through my euphoria and embedded themselves in my mind. I can't remember exactly what he said, but his homily dealt with how, although the theme of the conference was "Just Live It" and we kept connecting the Christian life to a sports game, the Christian life is anything but a game. If we turn to Christ and give our lives to Him, we will enjoy eternal life. If we turn away from Christ, we lose our very souls. I remember Father Dave standing on the stage/altar, dead-serious, trembling even, his face flushed and his voice cracking as he literally shouted in the microphone. Many speakers shout for effect, but even in my youth and immaturity, I could see without a shred of doubt that Father Dave was mortally afraid for our souls. He knew the temptations and sins that many of the teens before him were facing, and I know that at that moment, he would have given his life to make us understand, to pull us out of Satan's grasp. That conviction and love for his audience completely characterizes Father Dave, as a speaker, as a priest, and as a man of God.

Father Dave Pivonka, TOR is the current director of Post-novitiate Formation for the Sacred Heart Province of Franciscan TORs (Third Order Regular). Previously, he served as the vice president for Mission Effectiveness at Franciscan University of Steubenville, the Director of Franciscan's Austrian Study-Abroad Program, and the director of the Franciscan Youth Outreach Office. He is the author of several books, including "Hiking the Camino: 500 Miles with Jesus" (found here) about his recent experience walking the famous Camino de Santiago in Spain. In his various missions, Father Dave has touched the lives of thousands of people, from the high school students who heard him speak at numerous youth conferences, the students he encountered, lead, and befriended at Franciscan University, and the adults who he lead on pilgrimages throughout the world.

Four years after my youth conference experience, I found myself sitting jet-lagged on a coach bus on the Austrian Autobahn listening again to Father Dave's passionate, engaging voice as he introduced the bus of Steubenville students to the country we would call home for the next four months. During my semester in Austria, I was able to get to know Father Dave personally, hear his homilies on a daily basis, and travel with him to Vienna, Salzburg, Rome, and Assisi. My Austrian experiences served to confirm what I realized about Father Dave four years before; he is an extraordinary priest who is passionately in love with Christ and his Church, and he uses his many gifts to lead people to God through his role as a Catholic speaker, his leadership, and his witness.

I'm very happy for this opportunity to write this blog for "Support a Catholic Speaker Month," sponsored by Matthew Warner's blog FallibleBlogma. See the list of speakers and links to the posts about them here.

"I Know the Plans I Have for You"

2009-07-01T15:20:00.000-07:00

This is a talk I gave about the Plan of God last week at girls' vocation camp. Hope you enjoy!

What is the Plan of God?
• We can all agree; everyone wants happiness. We might not agree on what that means, but I don’t think you’ll find a person who when you say- “what do you want out of life?” will say- “oh, I don’t know, I want to be miserable.” When you ask that question, common responses will be “oh, I want to get married,” “I want to be a doctor,” ‘I want to make lots of money,” but really, the reasons why people say that is because they think that those things will bring them happiness! And happiness, of course, is a really good thing! We all want to be happy!
• The really awesome thing about all of us wanting to be happy is that God wants us to be happy too! In fact, he created us to be happy. We know that God didn’t make the earth and the animals, the sea, the land, the sky- all of creation- because he needed it. He did so because he wanted to- and he created man as the greatest of all creations and he gave all of creation to us. Why? So that we could have the things that we need to be happy in our lives and ultimately one day be eternally happy with him in heaven. He did this out of an overabundance of love. God loved so much that he made all of us so that he could love us and we could love him in return. And that is a really beautiful thing. I’m always struck by the fact that God didn’t need to create us. He didn’t have to, he chose to, it’s like his love was so great that it overflowed into new life, into you and I, and all humankind, and everything else in existence. And all of it is so that we can be happy and love God in return. Of course, you may notice that there are many people in the world who are not happy. Any ideas as to why so many people in the world aren’t happy?
• So many people in this world are living empty lives, separated from God, trying to find fulfillment in things of this world- money, material things, drugs, alcohol, parties, friends- things that aren’t lasting, things that end, and things that certainly won’t bring the kind of happiness we’re destined for. The way to find our happiness is to discover what in the world God has created you for. Yes, we know he wants us to be happy, but what we have to do in our lives is to find the particular way in which he wants us to be happy: the Plan of God.
• In everything that we talked about so far we’ve learned that God doesn’t do things randomly. He didn’t arbitrarily choose Mary to be the Mother of God. In being Jesus’ mother, in saying “yes” to the angel Gabriel, Mary was fulfilling the plan that God had destined her for. In the same way that God’s plan for Mary was for her to be the Mother of God and the Mother of all of us, God has a plan for each one of us, for me, for you, for everyone! He has these plans because of love! God’s plan for each of us is a proof that we’re not randomly created without any purpose, but created with purpose and most importantly with love.
• We know, in general, that everyone is called to be holy, everyone is called to be a saint. That’s the theme of the camp! That’s the General Plan of God. However, in looking at the lives of the saints of our communities and other saints that we know about, we can see that all the saints are very different! St. Therese was a French Carmelite nun, St. Dominic was an Italian choir boy, Bl. Jacinta was a tiny Portugese shepherd girl, and Bl. Pier Giorgio was an active, wealthy young man. Some saints are nuns, others popes, others mothers, fathers, priests, lay people. And not one of them came to be saints in the exact same way that another did. We are all called to be saints, but God has a particular plan for us to reach holiness and sainthood that differs for each person.
• In the Bible, God tells the prophet Jeremiah: ‘‘Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, and before you were born I consecrated you;” (Jeremiah 1:4). And again to Jeremiah: “For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” (Jeremiah 29:11). The prophet Jeremiah was really young when God called him to be a prophet to Israel, meaning that God would speak to him and he would advise the King on how to best rule the nation. Of course Jeremiah was afraid when he was called to the “prophetic office,” he didn’t want to accept the trials, burden, and difficulty that he knew lay ahead of him. But God had big plans for Jeremiah, just as he has big plans for us. Before we were even conceived God knew us, before we were even born he had us in his mind! That’s how great God’s plans for us are. In the second quote, God says that he has plans to prosper us, not to harm us, and to give us hope and a future. God’s plans for us are great and eternal, but the fact that these plans exist show that it’s not up to us to choose or decide what’s going to make us happy- that plan is written by God from all of eternity. Discovering God’s plan for your life is not like any of the choices that we’re so accustomed to making, from choosing how to spend your time, who to be friends with, what clothing to wear. In all those cases, we choose what we want and what we think will bring happiness. In discovering God’s plan, it’s all about what God knows will make us happy. God made us accordingly, he made us according to a plan. In this way, we know that God’s plan is not going to be one of misery! A very wise saying- God doesn’t give you anything that you can’t handle. In the same way, God’s plan for you will absolutely not make you miserable, in fact, following God’s plan is the way to happiness.

What does God’s plan have to do with me?
• More explicitly, what is God’s plan for each of us called? Our vocation. Our vocation is our particular path to holiness, it is the way that God plans for us to get to him, that best suits us, our gifts and our talents, our personality, our particularities. No one has the same exact plan! Some people are called to holiness through living religious vocations, as a priest or consecrated. Others are called to holiness through the vocation of marriage, in uniting with another person and raising a family. Both of these vocations are different, of course, but beautiful in their own ways. And both vocations can lead to sainthood. This is where it starts to get complicating. It doesn’t even make sense to be afraid of your vocation, as we are certainly assured of God’s love for us, and knowing that our vocation is God’s plan for our happiness, why would we be afraid? But many people are afraid of learning what their vocation is, thinking they won’t like what it is, or they’re afraid that they will choose the wrong one and be unhappy. This is a really common fear, because of course we don’t want to be unhappy, but even more, we don’t want to make God unhappy either.
• In my own life, I’ve had a lot of what I like to call vocational confusion. I’ve been a committed Catholic since I was fourteen and started going to daily Mass on my summer vacations, going to adoration at the chapel in my parish, volunteering there, reading about the lives of the saints, and trying to learn everything I could about the faith. I knew that my faith was the most important part of my life, and I wanted to make God the center of everything. I thought I had it all figured out, but the question of my vocation never really came up. I loved little kids and I would babysit all the time and really enjoyed it, so I thought of course that meant God wanted me to be married- and there, that was the end of my vocational discernment. ☺ Throughout college I was firmly convinced that I was going to meet my husband at Franciscan University, which is a really Catholic school, and I would be all set. I did meet a great guy there, and we were together for more than two years, really thinking that when we graduated we were going to get married. It wasn’t until last summer that the question of what God wants from me, what my vocation is really came up, actually when I was here at this camp. Of course I knew that God has a plan for each one of us but I never really thought of it as a call that is written on our hearts, meant to make us happy, and fulfill our deepest desires. I learned that knowing God’s plan for your life comes from knowing yourself, so you can learn to discover what that plan is by knowing what it is that God created you for.
• So then I had a total crisis of not knowing myself, not knowing what God wanted from me, and definitely no longer being assured that it was marriage to my boyfriend from school. Suddenly, it was like my eyes were opened to the beauty of religious life and I thought about it in a way that I never had before. But still, I was always back and forth about it. There were lots of religious at my school so it would be like- I would see a nun doing something, like walking, or praying, or talking to someone, looking happy and fulfilled and I would think- oh I want that! Two minutes later I would see a mother pushing a stroller or holding a smiling baby and I would think again- I want that! Of course that made me totally confused, because God calls us to our own particular vocation. After many instances of back and forth confusion, seeing the beauty in both vocations and not knowing what was for me, I realized that the reasons why I was drawn to these people was because I saw their happiness and I wanted that happiness and assurance for me too. Why were they so happy? Because they were living their vocations- their paths to holiness and happiness. My vocation, whatever it is, is so much more than seeing a nun and thinking “well that would be cool” or seeing a mother with a child and thinking “hey that would be pretty fun!” It’s so much more than being attracted to something because you see the goodness in it, there is so much goodness in every vocation because it is a path that leads that person to God, and what could be better than that?
• Each one of us has that question in our hearts- why am I here? What am I meant to do? What does God want from me? This question is HUGE, given to us from eternity, and it has so much more to it than what we think we want, what we think we will be good at, and what we think will make us happy. God, in his infinite wisdom, has a plan for each of us, and right now he is calling all of us to something. We have to find out what it is!

How do I know God’s plan for me?
• I know what all of you are thinking, because it’s the same question that I was thinking, and that I sometimes still think. How do I know what God’s plan for me is? How do I find my vocation??? It seems like an impossible task sometimes, really overwhelming and confusing. But it is definitely possible!!! There have been moments of confusion in my life when I really had no idea what was going on with me or what God was doing in my life and in my heart. Now I look back on those moments of confusion and I see that he was preparing me, teaching me, leading me, and drawing me to get to where I am today in my discernment.
• The first thing we have to do to start to know God’s plan is to make an effort to know God’s plan! Unlike the Blessed Virgin Mary, an angel is most likely not going to appear to us and tell us what God wants from us. We have to try to find out what God’s plan is by knowing ourselves and deepening in our relationship with him. And to do this you have to pray, pray, pray. At this camp we’ve been learning about the importance of prayer, and different ways to pray, from spending time before the Blessed Sacrament, praying the rosary, reading the Bible, and making sacrifices and offering them up. Prayer is how we can grow closer to God. He knows our desires, our confusion, and our fears. So many times I’ve been praying in the chapel just saying again and again, “God, I want to do your will. Help me to know your will.” Like Mary we can pray, “Let it be done unto me according to your word.” If you truly, honestly, deeply want to do whatever it is that God wants from you and you continue to go to Him in prayer, you should never be afraid of knowing his plan for you, or being afraid of missing your vocation. Pray to God that he can help you know yourself, so you can see the talents and gifts he’s given you, and see how he wants you to use those gifts to serve him.
• Another important thing about discernment that I’m learning is that you have to be patient! Even if you go in the chapel right after this talk and say “God, I’m ready, tell me my vocation so I can go do it and start serving you and so I can be happy and make you happy!” which is a beautiful and sincere prayer- if it’s not time for you to know your vocation, you’re not going to. God knows when you’re ready, and he is preparing you for your vocation every day, through the opportunities you’re presented with, through the people you meet, the things that you read, the talks that you hear. So don’t be frustrated. Trust in him, that everything will be revealed to you in His time. It’s his plan, after all, so we all have to trust that he will reveal it to us when we are ready.
• I’m still searching for my vocation, just like you are. I’ve come a long way since a year ago when I suddenly realized there was more to life than choosing what you think you will be good at. I pray every day that God’s will be done in my life, and I know, without a shadow of a doubt, that if I stay close to God in prayer, and if I constantly strive to know him and love him more, I’ll be able to discover what his plan for me is.
• It all comes down to love. God’s plan for us is the way in which he calls us to love in our own special and unique way. Only I can love in that particular Jess Harris way. Only you can love in your particular way, finding that way and doing it- that is how we follow God’s plan for us, that is how we find our happiness.

Loving to the End

2009-04-22T20:37:00.000-07:00

"Love anything and your heart will be wrung and possibly broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact you must give it to no one, not even an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements. Lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket--safe, dark, motionless, airless--it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable...The only place outside Heaven where you can be perfectly safe from all the dangers and perturbations of love is Hell."
-C.S. Lewis, The Four Loves

This quote from Lewis' The Four Loves is brutal but it's so beautiful. It's probably my favorite quote because it just shakes with truth. And I'm all about the truth. A surefire way to experience pain is to love anyone. As Lewis writes, it can even be an animal. In that act of loving, you become really and truly vulnerable. In loving anyone- family, friends, co-workers, lovers- you guarantee yourself pain. Even if the object of your love returns that love consistently and with near-perfection, your heart can still be decimated by separation, illness, death, racked by misunderstandings, miscommunication, and doubt. There is no surety in love, other than the inevitability of pain. And no one loves perfectly except Christ and His Mother. We're all flawed, we're all afflicted with selfishness, and we hurt each other, again and again, with our sin. The absence of love is sin, and in the act of loving- true, pure loving- it's impossible to sin. In striving to love, we also aim to refrain from sinning.

Love hurts and even the most beautiful, selfless love brings pain. But we do it anyway. We love. We're made to love. We do it imperfectly, often selfishly, but we can't help it. Lewis' point isn't to caution people to lock up their hearts, protect themselves from the anguish of love, and resign themselves to hell as they do so. It's to expose the nature of love in a shocking way that is also undeniable. Who hasn't been exposed to the torture of love? And who experienced this torture more acutely than Love Incarnate, Jesus Christ? In his Gospel, John writes Christ " loved his own in the world and he loved them to the end" (John 13:1). He loved us unto death. John also writes in one of the most well-known verses of all time: "God so loved the world that he gave his only Son, so that everyone who believes in him might not perish but might have eternal life" (John 3:16). The love that Christ had for the world lead Him to experience the worst pain possible; aside from the physically excruciating pain of Passion and Death, He also experienced utter rejection from the people He loved (including betrayal by Judas, denial by St. Peter). And His Blessed Mother, who never sinned and never ceased to love, suffered with the incredible pain of watching her innocent son, who she loved so perfectly, suffer and die ("And you yourself a sword will pierce" Luke 2:34).

That's what love is. And we'll love, and we'll suffer, or we'll resign ourselves to hell. We'll expose ourselves to rejection, to grief and separation, we'll sign up to willingly experience the imperfections of human love, and hopefully, we'll be wise enough to realize that human love will never be enough, and we'll let ourselves be loved by our Redeemer and King. We'll let Him take our hearts, wounded by sin, and make them whole. We'll admit our flaws and weakness but not resign ourselves to it, and we will love Him in return, with all we have.

Moral of the Story: Don't Mess with the Diocese of Bridgeport

2009-03-11T12:58:00.000-07:00

Photo courtesy of the Knights of Columbus

2009-02-18T10:23:00.003-08:00

Obviously failing at that whole writing every day thing. For the most part, I'm failing at writing.

Everyday

2009-01-08T11:12:00.001-08:00

I read somewhere, several somewheres, in fact, that a writer who doesn't write every day is not serious about being a writer. How can you ever expect to improve at the craft of writing without continuous practice? So here goes writing, something, anything (besides e-mail and/or Facebook posts) every day.

"Religious" is ridiculous. Enough said.

2008-09-30T11:58:00.000-07:00

Ok, I know, I should be writing my 15-2o page paper that is due tomorrow at 9 am but I'm on page 8, I'm burning out, and internet is just too tempting. While browsing through Yahoo's entertainment news (my favorite, of course), I read an article about the premier of a movie titled "Religulous," which chronicles the escapades of comedian Bill Maher in his attempt to sway public opinion towards his opinion that religion is ridiculous, but not only ridiculous, dangerous to the well being of humanity. Mmmmk. As I read the article, nothing he and his director and "fellow doubter" Larry Charles have done with this movie struck me as particularly groundbreaking. Comedians, actors, and writers have been mocking religion forever. Then director Larry Charles dropped an absolutely brilliant line explaining why religion is dangerous to humanity. Here it is for your reading pleasure:
"If I believe that Jesus is God and you believe Mohammed is God, then no matter how tolerant we are, we are never going to meet," Charles said. "All you have to do is push that one more step, then somebody's like, `You're in the way of people believing in Jesus,' and `You're in the way of people believing in Mohammed,' and the only answer is to kill you."

What a cool guy. Ummmmm.... last time I checked, Muslims were pretty serious about Allah being God and Mohammed being his prophet. That's kind of a completely different concept. Just saying, this guy and his comedian pal make a movie proving the ridiculousness of "religion" (while only representing the 3 religions that piss them off the most), and he really has no clue what the second most popular religion in the world (is Islam the 2nd most popular? I think so) is even about? Cool. (Note: sarcasm intended.) I think I should check this movie out. I can definitely learn a lot from this well-informed, educated, objective source.

Wordling it up

2008-09-14T12:03:00.000-07:00

Wordle.net

I'm obsessed.





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What happens when I link my blog to wordle :)

Summer 2008: Pretty Much My Favorite

2008-08-20T08:21:00.000-07:00

Summer 2008 was pretty much my favorite, so I compiled a very relevant list of Top 5s to attempt to reflect the awesomeness of this isolated and transient period in our lives, similar to the experience of the apostles on Mount Tabor.

Top Hang-Outs
5) Elmer's
4) The Kitchen
3) The Adoration Chapel
2) Starbucks
1) The Porch

Top Activities
5) Discussing the "V-Word"
4) Walking
3) Coffee-drinking
2) Rosary-making
1) Porching it up

Top Songs
5) Bleeding Love- Leona Lewis
4) Abba Ojciec- Polish People
3) The Joy of the Lord
2) Viva La Vida- Coldplay
1)I Drove All Night- Celine Dion

Top Foods
5) Lettuce
4) The Baconator
3) Starbucks
2) Bacon
1) Kielbasa

Top Vehicles
5) The Jeeeeeep
4) James
3) The Passat
2) The Truck
1) The Cutie

Top Abrevs
5)
4) Dec- decent (?)
3) DNBD- Diocesan Nervous Breakdown
2) SEU- Spiritual/Emotional Upheaval
1) POC- Prince of the Church

Top Phrases
5) Oh please
4) The Truth will set you free
3) Don't make a village
2) Bold move, Tobiah
1) No more, Lord!

Top Old Testament Biblical Persons
5) Prophet Jeremiah
4) King Nebakunezzar (sp?)
3) Jezebel
2) Prophet Elijah
1) Moses

Top Movies
5) The Dark Knight
4) Shakespeare in Love
3) Enchanted
2) Mamma Mia!
1) Napoleon Dynamite

Top Summer Jobs
5) Shoprite Bagger
4) Diocesan Slave
3) Big Y Artistic Floral Consultant
2) Home Depot Customer Service Associate
1) Seminarian/Gardener

Top Excursions
5) Target
4) Divine Mercy Shrine
3) Abbey of Regina Laudis
2) Steubenville East
1) Pilgrimage

Top Nicknames
5) Lyssy
4) Gisele
3) Hrebenko
2) Tobiah
1) Jezzie

Top Person
1) Andrei

Semi-Profound Thoughts on Pilgrimage 2008

2008-08-12T10:29:00.000-07:00

As far as semi-profound statements go, I don't make a lot of them. Most of my daily commentary consists of snarky come-backs that spark laughter only in the few people privileged to more or less share my brain. I'm the kind of person that needs to be smacked in the face by profoundity, who has to read a line over and over again, referencing valuable sources such as Webster's Dictionary (or Urban Dictionary) and the encyclopedia (or Wikipedia) before my thought pattern even brushes up against the profound. So what I took away from an experience that would provoke Elmo into profoundity, after walking, praying, talking, listening, seeing, singing, and walking some more, is this:

In general, like the annual Polish walking pilgrimage, life sucks- but with random moments of beauty.

By this I mean that if the pilgrimage is a microcosm of life, specifically the Christian life, it consists of pain, exhaustion, sweat, blood, tears, the collapse of careful plans, lost tempers, hours of waiting, frustration, rain, wind, heat, cold, and no other option besides continuing to put one foot in front of the other. With that said, it's not a stretch to say that this basically sucks. So why do we keep walking- on the pilgrimage, and in life? Why don't we give up? Besides continuing to persevere out of pride and pride alone, which, granted, can happen, I think that most of us, myself included, keep trucking along, forgetting the pain completely in some instances, because of the random moments of beauty.

Examples of random moments of beauty on the Polish walking pilgrimage: walking underneath the cloudless blue sky, the sun falling perfectly and beautifully through the trees, cornfields on your left and right, catching a glimpse of a rest stop just when you thought death (or something close to it) was upon you, the inspiring words of the Franciscan Friars of the Renewal, an unexpectedly appropriate conversation, the best kind of uncontrollable laughter, a Scripture verse that seems like it was written just for you, going deeper in prayer than you ever thought you could, Polish/Franciscan dance parties, seeing the best in people and having the opportunity to really and truly, uninhibitedly, know them.

My other semi-profound, but more sobering, revelation on the topic of the pilgrimage is this: God gives us these opportunities, these extraordinary moments of beauty and clarity, to prepare us for what is coming, to let us drink deeply of God's goodness and love before we step out of the summer, into the fall, back to school or to work, back to reality, and into a different flavor of goodness that tastes more bitter than sweet.

What else is there to say? The sweetness of consolation can't be ever-present, or it would lose its sweetness and we would sink into complacency. We need to feel the sharpness of reality, feel the fear and uncertainty, in order to appreciate beauty when we encounter it. It's frightening, to experience joy, but know that the lightness of heart is fleeting, that it's going to get harder, that you can't always be feeling so happy you can hardly breathe. It's consolation, it's beautiful and a gift, but it won't always be there and you can't rely on it or your faith in God will collapse under the weight of all the suffering in the world. In all honesty, I'm scared of what comes next. The pilgrimage can be unpredictable- will it rain? will we find our bags? how long til the rest stop? are we going to have ham and butter or cold kielbasa?- but it only lasted four days and there was an end in sight. Not so with life. We're pilgrims here and our destination is our heavenly home and until we get there, though we don't know the day nor the hour, we're here, with uncertainty about tomorrow, but with all our hopes fixed firmly on our true home.

Photo credit: A. Huntley

To each his own.... Truth?

2008-06-08T11:42:00.001-07:00

And the award for biggest relativist ever goes to.....

Oprah!

While campaigning for Barack Obama- "I am following my truth. And the truth is in Barack Obama!"

Ok, maybe it's not the most blatantly relativistic statement ever, but people clapped and cheered like crazy after she said that. As if it made sense!

"Faithful"- a reflection on a walking pilgrimage

2008-04-28T14:30:00.001-07:00

“Jesus Christ is the Lord, Alleluia! Jesus Christ is the Lord, Alleluia! Sing it louder! Again!” The guitar-playing Franciscan brother alternately sings and shouts into the microphone that a high school boy in shorts and sandals holds in front of his mouth. Brother Andrew’s voice projects out of the speakers that are carried like backpacks by four of the approximately one hundred pilgrims who walk along the side of the Pennsylvanian roadway on a Sunday morning in August. We raise our voices as the brother demanded, singing the words and the notes again and again, until finally, it is impossible not to mean what we say.

“Up the hill! Keep singing, pilgrims! Jesus Christ is the Lord, Alleluia! Jesus Christ is the Lord, Alleluia!” As the road begins to incline upwards, my calves, almost distinct personalities by this point in the 67 mile walk, scream at me in anger. I push the pain out of my mind as I push my body up the hill, one of many I conquered in the past four days. I hold on tightly to the straps of my backpack and fill my lungs with air to lift up my voice with the rest of the pilgrims, who are as exhausted, sweaty, and smelly as I am. But none of us care.

“Look through the trees. There’s the shrine! Jesus Christ is the Lord, Alleluia! Jesus Christ is the Lord, Alleluia!” I stand on my tiptoes, following the pointing arms of the other pilgrims- there it is! The shrine! I had never seen it before in my life, and I would have found the architecture to be disappointingly modern, if the shrine didn’t represent everything I had gone through over the past four days. Suddenly laughing inexplicably, I join the others in cheering, and we all begin to move more quickly, sing more loudly, and randomly shout with joy.

“Jesus Christ is the Lord, Alleluia! Jesus Christ is the Lord, Alleluia! Jesus Christ is the Lord, Alleluia, Alleluia!” The pain in my aching, sore body melts away in a frenzy of emotion and my thoughts run together as I walk up the last hill, the shrine in plain sight. I can’t sing loud enough, the sun can’t shine brightly enough to match this, what I feel right now! I love all of you, every one of you, the people I’ve walked beside these days, and I don’t even know your names. It doesn’t matter, our names don’t matter, we are children of God and we are almost there! We’ve walked so far, offering up our sufferings, for the glory of God, and we’ve almost done it, we’ve almost done it! People cheer for us, people I’ve never seen, but I wave back at them like it’s them I’ve been longing to see. I sing so loudly my throat feels raw but it’s a wonderful feeling, the pain that comes from praising God as he deserves to be praised. This- this must be what heaven is like, seeing all the people you never even knew that you loved. They welcome you, and God’s presence is all around, in the religious brothers dancing beside us, in the frenzied, hysterical singing, in the annoying guy you never even liked before this moment, in the friend who has walked beside you all along, in the place, the most beautiful place you have ever seen, all of this is for Him. You almost hear, you can imagine what one day it will be like to hear, as a mixture of tears and sweat runs down your face, “Well done, good and faithful servant.”

Pope Benedict's Visit: "Christ Our Hope"- My Experience

2008-04-20T08:38:00.001-07:00

How can I even start to blog about my trip to Washington D.C. to see Pope Benedict? How can I even begin to try to unravel what the Papal visit means for the Church in America and for the universal Church? I'm far less articulate than I want to be but I have to try because neglecting to write anything about this experience, which has already impacted my life and will inevitably impact the world- would be almost unforgivable. I'm going to start out by saying that I'm a big fan of Pope Benedict XVI. I think he's exactly the man the Church needs, which makes a whole lot of sense when you think about the way the papcy works. He is a brilliant theologian and a stalwart defender of the truth. He's a liturgist with an appreciation for tradition. He's unbelievably articulate, gracious, and loving. If you can't tell, I have a bit of a Pope-crush. Even if he were none of these things, I would still love him because he is the successor to St. Peter and the Vicar of Christ. He's a major world player and a head of state, which explains the secular media buzz, but for Catholics, he is so much more than that. The first time I saw Pope Benedict was in 2007 on my pilgrimage to Rome when he lead the Angelus in St. Peter's Square from his window (video ). My classmates and I were completely in awe and so thrilled to see him in person. At the time, I had no idea that in a little over a year later I would be seeing the Holy Father in the United States. I was able to spend Holy Week of 2007 in Rome, attending the Holy Thursday Papal Mass, the Good Friday Papal service, Stations of the Cross with Pope Benedict, and Easter Sunday in St. Peter's Square. The entire week was completely overwhelming, because I was seeing the Vicar of Christ on a daily basis, during the high point of the Church year, with thousands of other Catholics. As I stood in St. Peter's Square on Easter Sunday, waving goodbye to the Holy Father, I shed a few tears, thinking that I would never see this amazing, holy man who I had grown to love and admire, in this world ever again.

I haven't been back to Rome since Holy Week of 2007; instead I traveled five hours by car to attend the Papal Mass at Nationals Stadium during "Christ Our Hope," Pope Benedict XVI's apostolic visit to the United States. We were fortunate enough to have obtained tickets to stand on the grounds of the National Shrine so we could catch a glimpse of Pope Benedict before he entered the Shrine to meet with the US bishops. The weather was absolutely perfect, and we stood near the Eastern entrance where the Holy Father was going to enter. We decided that standing right next to a group of about twenty Missionaries of Charity couldn't hurt either. After waiting in the sun for a few hours, the US Bishops and Cardinals arrived in charter buses and the excitement and reality that we were in the midst of the most powerful men of the Church in America, about to greet the Holy Father, began to set in. Around 5:15 pm the Shrine's bells began to ring, preceding the arrival of the Holy Father. As security officers on motorcycles drove past us, we craned our necks for any sight of the tell-tale white Mercedes known as the pope-mobile. Finally, the people pressed against the barricade to our right began to shout and cheer and we were able to catch our first glimpse of Pope Benedict XVI. The Holy Father was sitting in the pope-mobile, windows rolled down, and was enthusiastically smiling and waving at us. At the closest point, he was about fifteen feet away from where I stood, and I could see him clearly enough to make out the joy in his facial expression, especially the fantastic look of joyful recognition when he saw and acknowledged the Missionaries of Charity to my left.

When I saw him at such a close proximity, it was like I was able to realize more fully how accessible he is- yes, he's the successor to St. Peter, the Vicar of Christ, the spiritual leader of the Catholic Church, and a gifted theologian, but he's also a man like any other, one that I could develop a personal relatioship with. I think, on some level, or in some way, all of the people reaching out and calling out to him that day, this whole visit, were feeling and longing for the same thing. I feel that he somehow feels the same way about us. He's met a handful of US Catholics on his visit, but he wishes that he could meet all of us, and in those few moments, where he passed so closely to where we were standing, waving and smiling, he recognized our love and appreciation of him, this man we don't know personally but feel as if we do, and he returned our sentiments by appearing to us and for us. Although the vehicle was moving slowly, he was gone before we knew it, and his stepped on to the red carpet that lead into the Shrine and disappeared into the Basilica. It took us over an hour to make our way to the metro because of the congestion of people, as well as some protestors who didn't make things easier, which I'll write about later when I get the chance.

My personal experience with Pope Benedict XVI's apostolic visit to the United States continued when my companions and I attended the Mass at Nationals' Stadium in Washington D.C. We arrived at the stadium around 7 am, though the Mass wasn't scheduled to begin until 10. We were seated along the third base line on the first deck and we had a good clear view of the entire Mass. I can't ignore the fact that I wasn't thrilled by the musical selection. The musical selection was meant to signify the diversity of the Archdiocese of Washington where the Mass took place. There were at least three choirs that I can remember, the Papal Choir, the Children's Choir, and the Intercultural Choir. Some traditional hymns and chants were sung, but there were also more ethnic and contemporary song choices, such as Hispanic and African songs. I'm all for culture, but instead of reflecting and celebrating in diversity, there was much less of a sense of coherence and flow because of this. Also, the traditional things they chose weren't even that fantastic (ie. the responsorial psalm that sounded like "Don Juan Triumpant" from Phantom of the Opera). Marty Haugen's "Mass of Creation??" Let's be real people. Just not necessary, and at the Pope's Mass? On a positive note, the altar set up was beautiful, with a make-shift, but nice and functional baldichino and a really nice crucifix, and the Holy Father's trade-mark candles set up on the altar. The stadium erupted when the Holy Father arrived at 9:30, circling the stadium once in the pope-mobile, a nice touch. Pope Benedict seems like a shy, reserved person, and in comparison to Pope John Paul II he really is reserved, but when he's circling a stadium of 46,000 people in his custom Mercedes, he seemed more like a rock star than ever before. I don't think he was exactly lapping it up, but he must know how badly the people in the stadium wanted to see him close up, and the drive around the stadium did that for us in some way.

Attending the Mass celebrated by the Holy Father is always a blessing, and the presence of the Pope in America, celebrating the Eucharist, which is the cornerstone of the Catholic faith, truly displayed the universality of the Church, and was a visible sign of the communion members of the faith share with each other. For this week, all eyes were on Pope Benedict XVI as he moved from location to location, activity to activity. I know his general daily schedule, but I don't usually follow his activities so closely, but participating in this Mass, sharing the Eucharist, showed me that even now, when the Pope has left the US and has "disappeared," more or less, back behind the walls of the Vatican, I am united to him, and to the rest of the faithful, when we share in the Eucharistic meal. Maybe I'm theologizing too much, but the point I'm trying to get across is that though I won't physically close to the Pope Benedict for who knows how long, I can always be united to him through the Eucharist. There are many other things I want to touch on and elaborate about regarding the visit, especially the sentiments Pope Benedict conveyed in his homilies and speeches, but I don't have time to right now and it's beyond the point of this blog. This post is my immediate reaction and my personal experience with this papal visit. Overall, I'm convinced that Pope Benedict XVI loves the members of the American faithful, though he recognizes the problems we face, and he encourages us to overcome rather than succomb to the trials of our materialistic culture. The Papal Visit has deepened my love for the universal Church and I hope that the same seeds of love have been planted in the hearts of many many Catholics in the United States who were touched in some way by Pope Benedict's visit.

Photos: All credit to S. Hlabse, excluding photo of National Shrine (Knights of Columbus).

Pope-Wannabes Protest Pope Benedict XVI

2008-04-13T14:53:00.000-07:00

I'll be honest, sometimes I'm quite naive. I like to believe that every Catholic appreciates and accepts the fact that the Catholic Church is guided by the Holy Spirit, the Scriptures are inspired and inerrant, and that the Pope is the Vicar of Christ on Earth. However, despite my naiveté, I'm often forced to face the facts not all people who consider themselves Catholic hold these particular views. Case in point, this news article on "Catholics" protesting Pope Benedict XVI and his impending visit to the United States. I've included a link to the article along with quotes that I found particularly "interesting," in addition to my personal commentary.

Yahoo News Article: Papal visit provokes array of protests

A few quality exerpts from the article:

"We cannot welcome this pope until he begins to do away with the church's continuing violence of sexism," said Sister Donna Quinn, coordinator of the National Coalition of American Nuns.

I'm wondering when these women are going to comprehend the fact that there's nothing Pope Benedict can do about the way that Jesus Christ established the priesthood.

"He has issued some of the most hurtful and extreme rhetoric against our community of any religious leader in history, and we want to call him into account for the damage that he's done," said Marianne Duddy-Burke, executive director of DignityUSA.

Oh yeah. Really rough stuff. Particularly when he said this (sarcasm intended): "It is deplorable that homosexual persons have been and are the object of violent malice in speech or in action. Such treatment deserves condemnation from the Church's pastors wherever it occurs."- from "On the Pastoral Care of Homosexual Persons"

"Catholics wonder why there's this huge disparity between what the hierarchy says we should do in regard to contraception and what Catholics on the ground actually do," said Catholics for Choice president Jon O'Brien. He termed the ban [on contraception] "a great tragedy ... a policy that lacks compassion and understanding."

Let's see. The only disparity I can see is that the hierarchy teaches the divinely revealed truth and Catholics on the ground disagree with it.

The extent to which the pope addresses the varied grievances during his trip remains unknown. But the Vatican's envoy to the United States, Archbishop Pietro Sambi, said any dissent that might arise was regrettable. "Even in the Catholic church, nobody has the right to instrumentalize the visit of the pope to serve their personal interests," Sambi told the National Catholic Reporter. "The problem is that there are too many people here who would like to be the pope ... and who attribute to themselves a strong sense of their own infallibility."

I couldn't have said it better myself! :)

These people can say what they want and form as many coalitions as they want. The Catholic Church is a 2,000+ year old divine institution. They are asking for "reforms" that go against the very nature of the Catholic Church. Instead of protesting the Vicar of Christ and criticizing the Body of Christ (the Church), these individuals and groups would be better off studying what the Church actually teaches and why, or face the music and stop calling themselves Catholic.

Oprah: Philanthropic Celebrity or Preacher of Heresy?

2008-04-10T14:16:00.000-07:00

The other day I was leisurely perusing cyberspace when I came upon a link that one of my friends had posted. I was curious, so I clicked on the link and watched the youtube video that came up. The video, which I'm also posting here, is a short video (6:54) containing clips of TV talk show host and "philanthropist" Oprah Winfrey speaking about religion, specifically addressing her Oprah's Book Club selection "A New Earth" by spiritual writer Eckhart Tolle which Oprah claims has changed her life, despite the fact that it can't be reconciled with Christianity. The video is an anti-Oprah propaganda video clearly containing some pretty cheesy images and a voice-over, but the actual content I thought was pretty interesting.

For the sake of this fascinating blog, I'll give you a few highlights of the video. First, a clip that looks like it was from a much earlier show rolls along like this. Oprah preaches: “There are many paths to what you call God…For [this woman] there might be something else and when she gets there she might call it the Light…There couldn’t possibly be just one way….” When an audience member cries out, “There is only one way and it is through Jesus,” to which a round of applause spread through the audience, Oprah again shouts, “There couldn’t possibly be just one way.” End of clip.

After that clip my thoughts were, well, maybe poor Oprah's just a little confused. She just loves everyone so much she wants Christians and non-Christians alike to be able to enter Heaven and experience eternal joy. Or maybe my thoughts weren't exactly like that. They might have just consisted of my heresy alert sounding at maximum volume. I was going to include a lengthy quote from http://www.catholic.com/ to clear up the teaching on Salvation outside the Church but it's not really that relevant. Straight up, the Catholic Church is the way to salvation, however, God's mercy is so great we can't comprehend its reaches, and there's "baptism of blood" and "baptism of desire." The thing that really is no good is "knowingly and deliberately (that is, not out of innocent ignorance) commit the sins of heresy (rejecting divinely revealed doctrine) or schism (separating from the Catholic Church and/or joining a schismatic church)" (From http://www.catholic.com/library/Salvation_Outside_the_Church.asp), which sounds like what is going on here. In other words, I'm pretty sure that Oprah is trying to make her own religion.

Let's move on to the issue of the Oprah's Book Club selection "A New Earth" by Eckhart Tolle. A little bit of research on good old Wikipedia revealed that Tolle is an extremely popular "spiritual writer" (meaning, what?) not associated with any organized religion (meaning that he has no foundation for anything that he says). From my research, Tolle doesn't seem to preach anything new, or anything extraordinary for that matter. Then why is Oprah so obsessed with him (and intent on spreading his "teachings" with all of her fans? Because Tolle's substitute for religion is just the kind of touchy-feely, "spiritual" rather than religious, me, me, me, garbage that people eat up. Why is this accepted so easily, even though it has no foundation or solid belief-system? Because there is no concept of sin. In a "religion" that states that "Man has created God in his own image" (Eckhart Tolle, A New Earth) there can be no sin if you are your own God. It is interesting that Tolle's spirituality is built upon the concept that God is a feeling experience, not a believing experience, and yet Tolle and Oprah are telling people what they believe through an online class reaching 2 million people and through New York Times Bestselling books.

This is the sort of relativistic fluff that our society laps up so easily. So why am I devoting my time to it? I think that the most dangerous part about this spirituality, and the fact that Oprah is attempting to spread it, is because she claims that this spirituality doesn't stop her from being a Christian. However, she makes statements that are absolutely irreconcilable with Christianity. And she urges Christians that admire her to believe the same things. A few examples: “God is. God is a feeling experience, not a believing experience. If your religion is a believing experience, if God for you is still a belief, then it’s not truly God.” And the classic "I am a Christian who believes that there are many paths to God other than Christianity.” Cool.

However, this one really takes the cake. “I understand…that what I believe is that Jesus came to show us Christ’s consciousness. Jesus came to show us the way of the heart and that what Jesus was saying to show us the higher consciousness that we’re all taking about here. Jesus came to say, 'Look I’m going to live in the body and show you how it’s done. These are some principles and some laws that you can live by to know that way.' And when I started to recognize that, that Jesus didn’t come to, I don’t believe that Jesus came to start Christianity.” What??? What does that even mean? From what I can understand, Oprah thinks that Jesus came to give us an option of how to get to Heaven. Ok. Find that in the Bible for me and we may be ready for a discussion.

Here's what I have for you, Ms. Winfrey (I would have more quotes, but I'm a Catholic, after all). Matthew 16:18- "And so I say to you, you are Peter, and upon this rock I will build my church, and the gates of the netherworld shall not prevail against it." (Didn't come to start Christianity.... yeah ok). John 14:6- "I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me." (reconcile that with “I am a Christian who believes that there are many paths to God other than Christianity.”-Oprah). Apparently, neither Oprah nor Tolle really take the Bible seriously, and my Scripture quotes wouldn't mean much to them, though they do attempt to, as far as I can see, confuse Christians by saying that there are many "jewels" in the New Testament, and that religion can open the door to God or close you off to God. Mostly close you off to God if you begin to actually believe in God instead of just feel God. If you believe in something, then there becomes the possibility that you may disagree with someone else, and that just can't be tolerated. There's no objective truth, because how can a "feeling" be wrong? Who's to tell me that what I feel is wrong?

This activity has served mostly to leave me disgruntled and angry, as usually happens when someone makes completely no sense and manages to spread a nonsensical Christian heresy to several million people. I can only hope that the people being taken in by the untruths promulgated by Oprah will realize that though the things she says sound attractive (perhaps for 1.3 seconds or so), they are lies, through and through, there's nothing to them. If you're looking for the Truth, look to Jesus Christ. If you're looking for Oprah's lies, you know where to find her.

(Picture from abcnews.com)

Edit: It's been pointed out to me by someone smarter than me that because Oprah is not Catholic she really can't preach heresy. I really thought rhyming celebrity with heresy in the title was clever so I'm not going to change it, but I suppose it makes more sense to write that Oprah could be leading Catholics to commit heresy, (like the caller Kelly in the clip, who was Catholic). I think I might get a little excited when I think heresy is involved.

Response to: "All religions are hypocritical"

2008-03-30T11:55:00.000-07:00

"All religions are hypocritical."

This comment was directed to me a few weeks ago and the ensuing conversation has been bouncing around in my head ever since. I asked what she meant by this so I could respond to this statement more effectively, and qualification was obviously necessary. The half-formed answer was something getting at her belief that all religious people think that they are better than everyone else. Now, I can no more speak for "all religious people" than anyone can be correct in saying that "all religions are hypocritical." This is a huge generalization that would never hold up in any sort of formal argument. This isn't about formal argument. I was struck by the idea that someone, especially someone close to me, raised in the Catholic faith, could believe that Catholicism is hypocritical because Catholics think they are "better than everyone else." Anyone who believes this is missing out on the central aspect of the Christian faith: that God became man and died on the cross so that humanity's sins could be forgiven. Christ's death was necessary because of our sinfulness. In order to be Christian, you must recognize that you are a sinner and are in need of a savior. Anyone who doesn't is in danger of losing his or her soul. Consider the parable of the Pharisee and the tax collector found in Luke 18:9-4 :

He spoke also this parable to certain people who were convinced of their own righteousness, and who despised all others.
"Two men went up into the temple to pray; one was a Pharisee, and the other was a tax collector. The Pharisee stood and prayed to himself like this:
‘God, I thank you, that I am not like the rest of men, extortioners, unrighteous, adulterers, or even like this tax collector. I fast twice a week. I give tithes of all that I get.’
But the tax collector, standing far away, wouldn’t even lift up his eyes to heaven, but beat his breast, saying,
‘God, be merciful to me, a sinner!’
I tell you, this man went down to his house justified rather than the other; for everyone who exalts himself will be humbled, but he who humbles himself will be exalted."

We have to be like the tax collector, conscious of our sins and our sinfulness, knowing that we need Jesus to be our Savior. Christians with inflated senses of self, viewing themselves as better than others because of their "faith," are like the Pharisee, praying to themselves instead of to God, and are therefore not true Christians. I know that I don't want to be like the Pharisee. So I guess I have to be like the tax collector, conscious of my sinfulness, and constantly asking for God's mercy.

Love and Marriage in "Becoming Jane"

2008-03-18T23:35:00.000-07:00

I just finished watching the movie Becoming Jane. It’s a 2007 romantic chick-flick starring Anne Hathaway as a gorgeous, extremely fictionalized, Jane Austen, who scribbles with a fountain pen with her dark tendrils spilling down her back, pursing her full, red lips. Aside from the ballroom scenes and lovely scenery, the movie struck me because, not only is James McAvoy charming/handsome/a genuinely endearing rascal, the movie centered on the fact that “love,” erotic love, as C.S. Lewis would call it, between a man and a woman isn’t sufficient to build a marriage on. Jane states this when she leaves Tom/James McAvoy, who she is truly is in love with. Their scandal of a marriage would have been lived in poverty and their love would have turned into resentment and blame, destroying them both. They would have been fools to fail to recognize it and no matter how much they loved each other and wanted to be together, it would have lead them both to ruin. Therefore, the existence of erotic love, no matter how genuine or true, isn’t enough to base a marriage on. It’s really disappointing to realize within the genre of chick-flick too! Some aspects of the movie I thought could have been done better, such as Jane’s initial, well-placed, derision of Tom suddenly changing to passionate love. I bought it, mostly due to McAvoy’s charm, and because of the necessary suspension of disbelief required by the chick-flick genre, but I still felt like I was missing something. Perhaps that’s just part of the mystery of love? This film, though entertaining and sweet, really doesn’t deserve a blog post. It’s the concept that, in some cases, love alone really isn’t enough to survive on, that I’m trying, and perhaps failing, to address. We dealt with these same issues in Christian Marriage, discussing the importance of financial stability, of having a plan, being able to provide for future children, and one another. Marriage, in the eyes of the Church, is forever, and is so monumental and sacred, a true becoming of one flesh, that it deserves more than a blurb in a hasty reaction to a movie. As much as I was disappointed in the resolution of the movie, Jane made the right decision. I would just hate to have to do the same.

2008-03-15T14:30:00.001-07:00

I'll be honest, I'm not exactly clear on what the purpose of this blog is. I'm a writing major and I like writing. I'm a Catholic and because of that, I can't be anything less than a Catholic writer. Those things considered, I should have some things to say in a blog-like format such as this. For lack of anything else to write, here's a picture of my fish.